Choke On Your Burrito

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For those of you who DON’T watch Parks and Recreation?

ARE YOU FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND?

DO YOU HATE YOURSELF?

DO YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE BUT SECRETLY HATE YOURSELF?

DO YOU HATE HAVING A GOOD TIME?

DO YOU THINK NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME, AND NOT FOLLOWING THE TREND WILL MAKE YOU MORE INTERESTING AS A PERSON?

DO YOU THINK ANYBODY GIVES A SHIT?

GET OFF YOUR FUCKING TWELVE LEGGED HORSE AND WATCH PARKS AND RECREATION YOU HATER!

PS: Ben Wyatt for President of my heart and lady parts.

(Source: how-ood, via lizzymaxia)

Posted January 14, 2012 at 3:12pm in Parks and Recreation RANT Ben Wyatt

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This song has been putting me in such a good mood lately. And I’m not saying that because I’m hyper on Red Bull. That reminds me that last time I had Red Bull was when it had vodka in it. I miss vodka.

Posted November 23, 2011 at 9:04pm in Matt and Kim Good for Great Rant

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OK I JUST REMEMBERED IT!

I hate how B.J. Novak gets a title in “The Office” theme. It’s not that I’m hating on B.J. Novak. I think he’s a great writer and he’s part of what makes The Office great. That being said, Mindy Kaling and Paul Lieberstein have as much of a part in the creative process, so what gives?

I’m hating on vanity titles. That’s my damn issue. It’s like when I see Sarah Jessica Parker as Producer for Sex and the City or even Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock.

I shouldn’t be hating because it’s not like I personally give a shit and if I were a top paid actor I’d like it if people put me on the credits for something other than my acting props.

I’m just being a sour puss right now. I’m being Le Grinch.

Where’s Dwight so he can throw some snow balls at my shitty face?

Posted December 12, 2010 at 6:40pm in The Office Vanity Titles Rant Everyone's a critic

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Yeah, so me and my future hubby will get down to these kinds of shenanigans when we have our own set of Cabbage-Patch kids. Do y’all remember how good those really scary looking babies smelled? I used to smell my Cabbage-Patch but not look at it. To this day I still think Eau de Cabbage-Patch should be sold in CVS’s and Duane Reades nation-wide or their equivalent.

Oh, and today I saw The Switch (starring Rachel and Michael Bluth) and I have officially changed my mind. I want to adopt the little kid Sebastian from that movie and NOT Liam Neeson’s kid Sam from Love Actually. All of this is hypothetical of course. It’s IF I HAD TO CHOOSE ONE scenario. Like, imagine our family had to live on a raft at sea like in Castaway or in an attic like in ~~Anne Frank~~ Full House. Trust me, the decision was difficult to make. I thought long and hard. But I’ll take a bush-baby eyed neurotic 6 year old over a british accent and the impressive capability of dodging airport security any day.

Posted September 16, 2010 at 1:10am in Friends Ross and Rachel Rant Cabbage Patch kids are evil Jason Bateman is totally husband potential